Over the last few years, I’ve taken time to get to know myself. I’ve been asking, “Who is Natasha and how does she want to live her life?”

However, when I was younger, two words constantly rotated around me. People regularly called me selfish and spoiled. It became an almost daily mantra.

“Wow Natasha, you really are selfish…all you do is think about yourself.”

“You act like such a spoiled brat, do you know that Natasha?”

I would always roll my eyes. Why did I care? I want what I want and I don’t want to share. Why should I? I struggled to understand why being myself was bad.

So, for this post, we will stick with selfish. I’ll share my spoiled excursions with you later.

Now, let’s clarify the most misused word of all time:

“Selfish – (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.”

Hear me clearly. I don’t want to cause malicious harm to anyone. How is this word really negative? We perceive it that way because someone said we “should.”

I had discomfort with the word. It was used against me to make me question choosing myself first.

Interestingly, being selfish helped me gain skills that led to unlearning.

You might think, “Natasha, how is being selfish good?” I’ve learned that “good” and “bad” are subjective. I’ll share 4 ways being selfish was beneficial for me. It could help your perspective too.

4 Ways Being Selfish Can Be Your Superpower

Self-Preservation:

Historically, Black women have been expected to prioritize others’ needs before our own. Embracing a “selfish” mindset can be self-preservation.

It allows you to prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health. This is essential for resilience and longevity, especially in the face of daily BS and societal pressures.

Boundary Setting:

Being labeled as “selfish” often comes from setting boundaries and asserting your needs. For Black women facing discrimination and microaggressions, establishing boundaries is crucial. It maintains personal autonomy and protects against exploitation or emotional labor.

By embracing your “selfish” nature, you can assertively communicate boundaries. This cultivates healthier relationships built on mutual respect and understanding.

Empowerment:

Embracing selfishness can be empowering for Black women. It’s an act of self-affirmation and self-love.

In a society that often devalues and marginalizes your experiences, prioritizing your needs can be radical. It’s reclaiming agency and asserting your worth.

By unapologetically pursuing your goals, you challenge stereotypes. You inspire those around you to embrace their autonomy and self-worth.

Community Impact:

Prioritizing self-care and personal growth can have positive effects within the Black community.

By investing in your well-being and success, you serve as a role model. You break cycles of generational trauma and uplift future generations.

When you thrive individually, you contribute to the collective empowerment of your communities.

So, here’s the thing. By reframing “selfishness” as self-care, boundary-setting, empowerment, and community impact, you can harness its potential. It’s a superpower to navigate and thrive in a world that often seeks to diminish your worth and agency.

Before we end our chat, join my Re(3) Sanctuary newsletter. Get weekly inspiration, tips, and special invites. They’ll support your journey to reconnect with yourself, replenish your cup, and revitalize your zest for a pleasurable lifestyle.

Until next time,

Muahhhh…Natasha